I promised you my fears, so I shall share with you a series of them.
I am currently studying. Those of you who follow me or connect with me on various social media platforms know this because I’ve never stopped harping on about it. There have been a decrease in theatre discussions and links in my timelines and an increase in posts on existential psychotherapy, counselling and various therapeutic approaches. This is because there is a shift happening in me.
I was watching the Lifeclass on OWN with the Reverend TD Jakes and he said something to the effect of this – ‘Do not confuse talent with your purpose’. He went on to say that just because one has a talent for something, just because one has been doing something always, do not confuse it with what one is meant to do.
This has been on my mind for some time before seeing that broadcast.
Because I have been thinking of becoming a psychotherapist.
And that scares me.
It means that, unless I can find a way to combine my love of the stage and my desire to help people recognise their own purpose, that I may be looking at a future that does not include the thing that I thought I loved. My desire to help is certainly becoming stronger than my desire run behind the next big musical. I am so fortunate at this point in time to be in a show that resonates with me, that is congruent with my love of learning, reading and hope. But I have done many shows in my lifetime for the sake of doing a show. And I have done many shows in my lifetime where I didn’t make a difference. And I am beginning to wonder if that is a productive way to spend one’s time.
I have a great desire to entertain, a great desire to touch people’s lives, but I have come to the point of questioning whether I am doing that in the best way possible.