Say it with feeling

I am only responsible for what I say, not for what YOU understand – Anonymous

I came across this quote while perusing all the other wonderful writings in the blogosphere and it got me to wondering about the truth of that statement.

There are some teachers who believe that if you do not understand, then it is the fault of the teacher who has not done enough to make the information digestible, interesting or informative. There are some salesmen who believe that if you do not buy, it is because they have not done enough to make the offer attractive, alluring and appealing. There are some coaches that believe that if you do not ‘get it’, it is because they did not do enough to make your dreams and desires speak out to you, they did not highlight your unique selling points in such a way to elicit the right amount of excitement that allows you to get up and build your self-determined future.

I believe that our word sounds have power. And I believe that it is our responsibility to manage how we wield that power. I believe that we already know the effect of our utterances, that we design what we say for the listener, that because we are human ourselves, we know, inherently, how we will be understood when we communicate. It is that ‘theory of mind’ which allows us to follow the trajectory of a pointing finger to the intended target that is being pointed to, and not just stare the finger (go on…try it with a pet!). With that ‘theory of mind’, we know what the other person intends and conversely, we know that our intentions will be known, or at least guessed at, by the listener.

So if I intend to hurt with my words, that intention become known. If I intend to teach, then that feeling is passed on, through my choice of phrase, my tone, my willingness to go at the pace of understanding unique to the receiver. If I intend to heal, then the love is apparent in what I say. I am responsible for what you hear, if only through the intention behind my words.

Do you believe that you can release words into this world and not be responsible for how they are received?

Published in: on June 5, 2012 at 12:49 pm  Comments (2)  
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Another opportunity.

I am being given another opportunity to put my best foot forward.

As soon as I spoke the words, ‘I have done my best, and now look forward to getting more auditions so that I can put my new system into practice’ I received an email saying that I had another audition.

The old practiced fear gripped me, now I must learn new songs, I don’t have enough time to prepare, I can’t see why they would want to see me, I don’t know if I am suitable for any of the parts.

Then I stopped myself. I propelled myself to action instead of spending another minute giving time to those fears. I gathered my music books and set about to preparing. I looked at videos of the show so that I could see the style required. I expressed thanks for the chance that I am being given, to show myself in my best possible light and place myself in line to receive another opportunity to be in the place that I most love, the stage.

I will not give voice to my fears. Or, I shall use the energy of my fear to inspire me to action. I will be humble and grateful for the path that is being presented to me. W Clement Stone speaks of inspiration to action. He also speaks of activity knowledge. I shall use the time in which I would normally be compelled to sit still gripped by the paralysis of the unknown to make sure that I was prepared. I would not decide the outcome before the action. I shall only do my best.

And now I must go, because I don’t fully know the words of the song…

Published in: on February 11, 2010 at 10:19 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Doing Better

Today starts with gratitude.

But that is not the life lesson that I want to discuss. The great teachers have one thing in common. They all call for definiteness of purpose, for focussed action and a desire to do things well. So what was my practical application?

I had an audition today. My focussed intent started before I set foot in the room. In preparation for it, I started really examining the way I presented myself in the audition room. I realised that I had been walking around with an air of vanity. I felt as if I didn’t need to be there, that my previous work should speak for itself. In that way, I was aloof and possibly didn’t seem to be trying hard enough. But this was foolhardy behaviour. I am an actor, auditioning is what we do, this is how we get our next job. Why would I not put my best foot forward in this forum? I followed this questioning to the end, and realised I did this because of fear, fear of failing, fear of being found to be a fraud. I thought my abilities would be found wanting and for this reason I presented an air of faultlessness. It is this same fear that made me hide in the back of the group in dance auditions. So the first thing I had to do was to lay to rest my fear. And embrace humility.

On the train in today, I made a vow to myself. I would work as hard as I could, in spite of my fear. I would pay attention, concentrate fully and push myself to the front line. I would do this all with humility. And I would keep the very best outcome at the forefront of my mind.

I am not in charge of the final decision and I have released that with love. But I have taken the first step on a path of doing better. I would do whatever I could to succeed, no matter how long it took. And I would be grateful for every step along the way.

I did what I knew how to do. And when I knew better, I did better. – Maya Angelou

Thank you kind teacher, your words are true

Published in: on February 11, 2010 at 2:28 pm  Leave a Comment  
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